So I received a rather unwelcome email last week. My ex-husband sent me an email after no contact for four months. He's not just my ex-husband, he's my "I think we'd be better off if we weren't together and I came to this conclusion six months after we got married" ex-husband. He's the guy I stuck with through over a year of unemployment and a DUI ex-husband. He's the guy who bailed on me and our marriage, possibly over a relationship with his best friends wife.
Yeah.
So this was the email:
"I wanted to wish you a happy birthday, which I know isn't until monday, but I didn't want to spoil your fun with any negative emotions. I hope you are doing well and you have something fun planned to celebrate. Take care."
There are about a million things wrong with this short email - first being, if you think your message to someone will bring up negative emotions, why are you sending it? Second, you're a little hung up on yourself, aren't you, to say something like that. Third, WHY DID YOU WRITE TO ME? A few songs come to mind when I think of him... "Whataya want from me?" by Adam Lambert, for one. The other would be "I am trying to break your heart" by Wilco.
"What was I thinking when I let you back in?"
"It messed me up, need a second to breathe...What do you want from me?"
"I am trying to break your heart. I am trying to break your heart."
I don't need to reply to this email - there was no question asked, nothing to answer, no conversation started. I could just say, "Thank you" or a simpler, "Thanks", but that would imply that I appreciate the email, which I most certainly do not. So what would you say?
I could say that when I see couples at the grocery store/concerts/baseball games I still sometimes wonder why he couldn't be happy with me. I could say that he was right - we are better off without each other; or, at least, I'm better off without him. I could ask him how he's doing, because sometimes I wonder. I could ask him how his parents are doing, because I wonder that, too. I could tell him I'm loving my life and glad that he's not around to bring me down anymore, and I could tell him that I still miss him - the "him" when he was sweet and cute and loving to me. Or I could tell him to f*ck off and leave me alone. But most of all, what I really want to say, is "why don't you just leave me alone? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?"
