Gone to the dogs...

Because I clearly don't think I have "enough" to keep my life busy - or, busy enough to be considered acceptable by my own standards - I'm getting a dog. I've wanted a dog for almost two years. I lived with one dog - my exes dog, Caspian - and she was simply incredible. We dog-sat for other dogs - for family and friends - and while those dogs weren't as incredible as Caspian, they were all sweet, loyal, and loving creatures. When my relationship ended and I found myself alone - trying to figure out my purpose, my direction, what to DO with myself to keep BUSY - I thought I wanted a dog. Never one to make a rash, under-analyzed decision, I started volunteering at the local animal shelter to be sure I REALLY wanted a dog. I quickly met a pit bull that I found irresistible - until I realized she had "aggressive play" behavior and I decided I wasn't equipped to handle that. (side note - when I was a kid I was full-on intimidated by dogs; a near panic attack set in when I was told my "prop" for my recitation of "My Dog is a Plumber" in the 5th grade production of "Free to Be, You and Me" was a classmates dog. I can still remember it to this day - walking on the stage, telling the dog five times, in my meek little voice, to SIT! He didn't sit, of course...until he felt like it. The audience laughed and the big yellow dog stole the show, putting an early end to my on-stage career). Back on track - I'm volunteering at the shelter and keeping an eye out for "my" dog. I was interested in a few dogs that came and went, as I wasn't ready to take one home - for myriad reasons - until last December. I was finally ready to open my heart emotionally to a pet. Ready to be vulnerable to a creature that would surely love me unconditionally, and that I would surely outlive. Again, it was too late - the dog I wanted to care for, and provide a happy life for, was adopted by someone else by the time I decided to pull the trigger. So when I met "Panda" on a volunteer PACK run last weekend, I didn't hesitate. Friendly with people AND other animals, I loved spending the morning with her. She was running alongside another dog in the PACK run and kept pulling over to lick his face! Then she was licking ANOTHER dogs' face, and I thought, "This friendly, outgoing pup likes to kiss all of the boys! That's my kind of girl!" As soon as I brought her back to the shelter I filled out the application to adopt her. Within an hour it was a done deal. She would have her spay surgery on Tuesday, and come home with me on Thursday. In the past four days I've been preparing to welcome her in to my home. I've de-cluttered my apartment with a sense of purpose I've never had before. Instead of simply culling my "possessions", I was making room for someone in my life and in my apartment; making room for her things, her food; space for her to live. I bought her an array of toys - stuff she can chew, so that hopefully she won't chew my things! I stressed over what Milk Bones to buy for her. She's less than a year old, so she should get the "puppy" Milk Bones ... but she's over 40 pounds, so should she get the Milk Bones for dogs over 40 pounds?? Does weight supersede age, where Milk Bones are concerned??? I walked out of PetSmart, figuring I would just go back another time. Don't even get me started on what kind of food I'm going to feed her - I haven't figured that out yet either! (the shelter will send me home with some, and I'll go from there). I started to think that this must be what expectant parents go through. What kind of crib do you buy for your child? Will you breast feed or use formula, or both? Is it necessary to spend a small fortune on organic food for your child/pet - will it really make an impact on their health? The night before my pup moves in I'm sitting here, much like an expectant parent, thinking that I haven't gotten enough sleep in the past few days to prepare me for the schedule change I'm about to experience, and the sleep I'm about to lose worrying about her during the night. And it's the last night that I'm going to be alone in my apartment. The last night that I can go out - stay out? - without having to get home to take care of my pet. I've been married. I wasn't NEARLY as nervous to get married as I am to get a dog. Marriage! A lifetime commitment. Having a dog is a lifetime commitment but only for the duration of a dog's lifetime - about 10-12 years. She's going to depend on me to feed her, exercise her, socialize her, and teach her. And one day she will likely depend on me to make a difficult decision that I don't care to think about right now. She's my responsibility. The first time I've ever been responsible for a life other than my own. It's intense, and it's going to be awesome - and I'll let you know how it goes along the way. PS. FWIW, don't WORRY about me - I'm anxious but excited. And while I'm drawing some parallels between getting a dog and having a child, I realize bringing a life into the world is different than adopting a pet...