What would you say?

So I received a rather unwelcome email last week. My ex-husband sent me an email after no contact for four months. He's not just my ex-husband, he's my "I think we'd be better off if we weren't together and I came to this conclusion six months after we got married" ex-husband. He's the guy I stuck with through over a year of unemployment and a DUI ex-husband. He's the guy who bailed on me and our marriage, possibly over a relationship with his best friends wife.

Yeah.

So this was the email:

"I wanted to wish you a happy birthday, which I know isn't until monday, but I didn't want to spoil your fun with any negative emotions. I hope you are doing well and you have something fun planned to celebrate. Take care."

There are about a million things wrong with this short email - first being, if you think your message to someone will bring up negative emotions, why are you sending it? Second, you're a little hung up on yourself, aren't you, to say something like that. Third, WHY DID YOU WRITE TO ME? A few songs come to mind when I think of him... "Whataya want from me?" by Adam Lambert, for one. The other would be "I am trying to break your heart" by Wilco.

"What was I thinking when I let you back in?"
"It messed me up, need a second to breathe...What do you want from me?"
"I am trying to break your heart. I am trying to break your heart."

I don't need to reply to this email - there was no question asked, nothing to answer, no conversation started. I could just say, "Thank you" or a simpler, "Thanks", but that would imply that I appreciate the email, which I most certainly do not. So what would you say?

I could say that when I see couples at the grocery store/concerts/baseball games I still sometimes wonder why he couldn't be happy with me. I could say that he was right - we are better off without each other; or, at least, I'm better off without him. I could ask him how he's doing, because sometimes I wonder. I could ask him how his parents are doing, because I wonder that, too. I could tell him I'm loving my life and glad that he's not around to bring me down anymore, and I could tell him that I still miss him - the "him" when he was sweet and cute and loving to me. Or I could tell him to f*ck off and leave me alone. But most of all, what I really want to say, is "why don't you just leave me alone? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?"

Lucky Season #13

As summer comes to a close, baseball turns to talk of "magic numbers" and football gets underway, it's time for another season of my guilty pleasure, Dancing with the Stars. Twice a year ABC puts C- and D-list celebrities through the 12-week challenge of learning ballroom dancing live on TV. Cheesy jokes from host Tom Bergeron, bickering between judges Bruno Tonioli and Len Goodman, tight pants and sequins are all to be expected. And as usual, I'm underwhelmed with the announcement of the new cast.

The cast is a typical representation of what we see every season: a once-successfull movie star (David Arquete), a one-hit-wonder musician (Chynna Phillips), athletes (Ron Artest and Hope Solo), reality TV celebrities (Kristin Cavallari and Rob Kardashian), a talk show host (Ricki Lake), and a model and former girlfriend of a big-time celebrity (for season 13, playing the role of Heather Mills McCartney, ladies and gentlemen, Elisabetta Cannalis!)

Rounding out the cast for lucky Season 13 are TV personality Nancy Grace, celebrity stylist Carson Kressley, and Iraq War veteran/motivational speaker/actor J.R. Martinez. The member of the cast who doesn't fit the mold of past Dancing "celebs" is Chaz Bono - the transgender daughter of Cher and the late Sonny Bono.

I have to say, I'm not excited about any of them. But based on my own past experiences with the show, my feelings will change, and after a few weeks I'll be excited about someone, surprised by someone else's abilities, and angry that someone undeserving is still on the show in week six, no thanks to their dancing ability.

Will Elisabetta be able to hold her own on the dance floor? Will Nancy Grace drop 20 pounds? Does Rob Kardashian have rhythm? Which celebrity causes the most drama, a la Kate Gosslein? Will the super-sexy Maxim Chmerkovskiy make it to the finals? (please, God, give me 12 weeks of Maks)

The biggest question? Which Dancing pro gets partnered with Chaz?

Red Car Woman

This blog has been a long time coming. Family and friends have encouraged me to write, and I've wanted to for a long time. The biggest hold up has always been: what do I name my blog?

A name is important. Parents look through books to figure out what to name their children; they keep it a secret, lest someone judge the name they've decided to give their child, or worse - steal the name! Some people don't believe in naming a baby until they see it for the first time. No offense, but most babies just look like...babies. I really don't think any baby "looks" like a Billy or Sarah. A name can brand a child for life. Will they be teased for their name? Does their name command respect? Will they be one of five kids in their grade with the same name?

Bands have names. Some try to be creative, while others don't even bother. Dave Matthews tells his audience on "Live at Luther College" that the song #41 was named as such because it's the 41st song they wrote. "Really original, kind of like 'The Dave Matthews Band'", he jokes. Other bands, like "Better Than Ezra" told 'New Orleans Living' magazine that they don't tell anybody where their bands name came from, "It's our only gimmick."

So what the heck was I going to name my blog? What would my blog be about? How would the name of my blog define my blog? I remembered an encounter with a colleague one day. I was leaving the parking garage in my red Chevy, and my co-worker said, "You ARE a red car woman, aren't you?" I stopped for a second and thought, "yeah, I am." I am a woman who loves living life - and I think that's what a "red car woman" is.

This Red Car Woman loves music, travel, baseball, football, reading, good times with friends, some TV guilty pleasures... she loves food, wine and beer. This Red Car Woman likes yoga, cycling, and running - not as an obsession, but to be healthy (and to let her enjoy the food, wine and beer that she loves!)

I want to be free to write about whatever I want to write about: music, sports, food, travel... LIFE. Tied down to one idea? Never - not me, and not my blog.

PS. I'm not sure who I'm writing this for... I'm not ready to promote this blog, so if you're reading this, you probably stumbled upon it at random. Or you're one of a few friends that I've considered telling about it. And, speaking of names - I need to give a shout to Garrett Dutton, who's stage name was the inspiration for my nickname, and my blogger nom de plume.