As summer comes to a close, baseball turns to talk of "magic numbers" and football gets underway, it's time for another season of my guilty pleasure, Dancing with the Stars. Twice a year ABC puts C- and D-list celebrities through the 12-week challenge of learning ballroom dancing live on TV. Cheesy jokes from host Tom Bergeron, bickering between judges Bruno Tonioli and Len Goodman, tight pants and sequins are all to be expected. And as usual, I'm underwhelmed with the announcement of the new cast.
The cast is a typical representation of what we see every season: a once-successfull movie star (David Arquete), a one-hit-wonder musician (Chynna Phillips), athletes (Ron Artest and Hope Solo), reality TV celebrities (Kristin Cavallari and Rob Kardashian), a talk show host (Ricki Lake), and a model and former girlfriend of a big-time celebrity (for season 13, playing the role of Heather Mills McCartney, ladies and gentlemen, Elisabetta Cannalis!)
Rounding out the cast for lucky Season 13 are TV personality Nancy Grace, celebrity stylist Carson Kressley, and Iraq War veteran/motivational speaker/actor J.R. Martinez. The member of the cast who doesn't fit the mold of past Dancing "celebs" is Chaz Bono - the transgender daughter of Cher and the late Sonny Bono.
I have to say, I'm not excited about any of them. But based on my own past experiences with the show, my feelings will change, and after a few weeks I'll be excited about someone, surprised by someone else's abilities, and angry that someone undeserving is still on the show in week six, no thanks to their dancing ability.
Will Elisabetta be able to hold her own on the dance floor? Will Nancy Grace drop 20 pounds? Does Rob Kardashian have rhythm? Which celebrity causes the most drama, a la Kate Gosslein? Will the super-sexy Maxim Chmerkovskiy make it to the finals? (please, God, give me 12 weeks of Maks)
The biggest question? Which Dancing pro gets partnered with Chaz?
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